Skip navigation

Monday morning.

Last night, I heard from Tammy. Well, more to the point, I called her and she answered–which was surprising to me given the events some 14 hours before.

We talked and things are OK–as OK as they can be after we’ve both now seen each other’s monsters.

I can’t let her go. It’s clearly that simple. Tammy is an amazing woman with a sharp sense of humor and an inquisitive mind. And, she has this need to disappear every so often for a couple days and get drunk. The person I gave the ride to Sunday morning was a different human being than the one I fell for in July.

So yes, to answer my previous question, it is *always* a construct we fall in love with. You may think that you love someone, but in reality–face it–you love a reflection of yourself. Otherwise why do you get so pissed at someone when they do something “out of character?”

The night before, I told her I hated her. Emotions. She was rather mean to me, and I am no good in an argument. Of course, I didn’t mean that, but it felt like this wouldn’t fix. I am still not entirely sure it will. Today though, it’s OK.

Something was badly bent that night though. Or maybe it’s that my eyes were forced open. Not so much to this so-called other side of her, but to the nature of love. Love isn’t pleasant, love isn’t pretty. Love is pain, and the most wonderful gift one being can give another.

Love is love. And I love you, Tammy.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: