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Monthly Archives: February 2008

So for the past couple weeks, I’ve been trying out Grace St. Pauls here in Tucson. They are very progressive as far as Episcopal churches go, and the Episcopals are generally more progressive than other sects.

But they are still too conservative for me. Too Catholic, actually. Too in love with their Episcopalness. They are also a wonderful congregation and let me join them readily. But our paths diverge.

I came back to Christianity via the Tao, quantum mechanics and Zen, but I am not a Christian. I am a lover of Jesus but have no Christian (or Catholic) baggage to shed. Not anymore. I look to Christianity for its mystics. Catholicism for all its ills housed some amazing mystics among its monastics. There is love for that mysticism among this congregation, but they are too tied to the ceremonies of their youth.

To me, all the mainline Christian sects are the same: All Catholic in the original sense of the word. Then there are the Bible-toting yahoos, but there is no mysticism there. Not a whole lot of Jesus or Christ or God there. Just fear.

The people at Grace St. Pauls are wonderful and spiritual people. They are happy in their journey. I wish I could continue to be a part of that journey, but my path goes that other way.

I must follow it.

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Week two of training is over at my new job, and I am enjoying the weekend. I just went through the approval steps on Turboblues, so its ISBN will be searchable soon! And, I sent a copy to the Library of Congress–Part of the LOC Cataloging code requirements.

And, I am dragging my feet on Roadside Truckstop. Yes, one book will soon be two, as I finally bring my Lifehouse to light again.

I came up with Roadside Truckstop in 1989 as a concept for songs. Ten years later, I put it online as hypertext. Now, finally, I’m going to put it in a book with some of my latest pieces, and my first attempt at poetry with a theme, Senses, from almost exactly 20 years ago.

It occurs to me right now that, although I feel good, I am also feeling a little disjointed in terms of me and God. See, my previous relationships with God have been chemical in nature, from lust to love to drugs to anti-depressants–Meher Baba called it “God in a pill.”

I love Baba. I keep a picture of him in my wallet because sometimes a smile is warranted, and his is an infectious one. I forget him sometimes, but he never forgets me.

Thank god someone doesn’t forget me!

The picture is me, as I write this, sitting in a chair at Bookmans on Grant and Campbell. I have a book beside me called The Secret Way of Wonder by Guy Finley. I am going to pick it up. He’s another one, like Eckhart Tolle, whose writings speak to me. Now Eckhart Tolle is also a bit of an egotist, in my opinion (Eckhart is not his real name. A deliberate connection to Johannes Eckhart, the Christian mystic), but The Power of Now is an excellent book.

Guy Finley I am just getting to know. But just looking at the title, I think of Zen Mind, Beginner’s Mind by Shunryu Suzuki. Wonder might be too enthusiastic a term when it comes to Zen, since we still get in the way of things. We don’t wonder at something, we wonder at our impression of something. Removing that impression might be too stringent for westerners, so we have the subtitle of the book: Insights from the Silence.

Ah! At last, the crux! god speaks in silence, you know. Baba spent the last half of his life in silence. There is something to be said for silence.

Pun intended. XOXO.