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So this e-mail showed up the other day from a family member. It’s made its way around the web, and usually I delete this stuff automatically. But this is special….

LET ME SEE IF I GOT THIS RIGHT.

IF YOU CROSS THE NORTH KOREAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET 12 YEARS HARD LABOR.
IF YOU CROSS THE IRANIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU ARE DETAINED INDEFINITELY.
IF YOU CROSS THE AFGHAN BORDER ILLEGALLY, YOU GET SHOT.
IF YOU CROSS THE SAUDI ARABIAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE JAILED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CHINESE BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU MAY NEVER BE HEARD FROM AGAIN.
IF YOU CROSS THE VENEZUELAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE BRANDED A SPY AND YOUR FATE WILL BE SEALED.
IF YOU CROSS THE CUBAN BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU WILL BE THROWN INTO POLITICAL PRISON TO ROT.

IF YOU CROSS THE U.S. BORDER ILLEGALLY YOU GET
*    A JOB,
*    A DRIVERS LICENSE,
*    SOCIAL SECURITY CARD,
*    WELFARE,
*    FOOD STAMPS,
*    CREDIT CARDS,
*    SUBSIDIZED RENT OR A LOAN TO BUY A HOUSE,
*    FREE EDUCATION,
*    FREE HEALTH CARE,
*    A LOBBYIST IN WASHINGTON
*    BILLIONS OF DOLLARS WORTH OF PUBLIC DOCUMENTS PRINTED IN YOUR LANGUAGE
*    THE RIGHT TO CARRY YOUR COUNTRY’S FLAG WHILE YOU PROTEST THAT YOU DON’T GET ENOUGH RESPECT
*    AND, IN MANY INSTANCES, YOU CAN VOTE.

I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE I HAD A FIRM GRASP ON THE SITUATION
PLEASE KEEP THIS GOING ….FORWARD TO ALL OF YOUR FRIENDS & FAMILY
IT’S TIME TO WAKE UP AMERICA !!!!!!!!!!!!

———————————————————-

Well, twelve exclamation points should wake the dead let alone America in its stasis.

What the author of this piece is trying to do of course is imply the lax and liberal (in its real sense and in the kooks’ code-word for evil and awful) state of American immigration enforcement. My question is, why compare us with North Korea and Saudi Arabia (both controlled by brutally totalitarian regimes), or China and Cuba (last bastions of so-called Communism on Earth), or Iran and Venezuela (controlled by a wackjob and a fascinating figure respectively), or Afghanistan (part U.S. puppet, part religious totalitarianism depending on where you are)?

Comparing us with some of the worst governments on Earth is puzzling to me. Does this person think we should be more like them? If so then he is my sworn enemy, and should be yours as well if you love freedom of any kind. But then there’s Guantanamo to sadden my heart. Fuck you George W. Bush.

Are our borders soft? Demonstrably so.

Are we enforcing the border as best we can? Yes, I believe so. Because the border is not the problem. It really isn’t.

People want to come over badly enough to cross the brutal desert between Sonora and Arizona all the time and will continue to do so. Giving broad discretionary powers to the police in Arizona to hassle people for their “citizenship papers” (shades of Soviet Russia and East Germany. How quickly you assholes forget!) is not the answer and will not stand up to a Supreme Court challenge the first time a native-born or naturalized citizen of this country gets stopped for not being white and gets the idea to sue.

Oh please non-existent Jesus, make this one happen! I’m just surprised Arizona did this first and not Texas. We expect Texans to be insufferable pricks and racists. I’m here to tell you they’re here too, hanging out in the desert like rats.

Like I said, they’ll keep coming for the same reasons the Irish did. Or the Italians, or the Germans or the Somalis or whomever. The idea that this is still the land of opportunity–and it is for someone willing to work for pennies for a farmer or restaurant owner who looks the other way.

And also that this is a better place to pop out a kid than their country. Which, thanks to the 14th Amendment and a Supreme Court decision way back when, is why we are American citizens by virtue of birth. And so too is the child of foreign parents who are in the United States and have a permanent residence or are doing business in the United States. Check it out. Should this go away? Hell no! But this is what motivates many to brave the elements and the Border Patrol.

This new law in Arizona is a knee-jerk reaction by state politicians to what they perceive as a majority voice: Dumb-ass Entitled Armed Whitey. And in Arizona they truly are a majority.

This is a state where a gun is as easy to get as a video game. So much so I heard an old guy in Carl’s Jr the other morning say “I’m not sure which gun I’ll get” with the same enthusiasm as the kid in Best Buy trying to decide what size plasma to purchase. And as long as you’re white and (reasonably) sane you won’t get the stink-eye from the local arms dealer when you stride in to choose from his fine inventory of products.

It’s a knee-jerk reaction because the alternative answers are less popular. Doing something real to help Mexico improve itself and not creating a way for multinational corporations to get cheap labor closer to the U.S. is one way. Never gonna happen but I mention it in the interest of thoroughness.

Revoking citizenship by birth is another way of course. Now this one is a possibility, although I won’t want to live in that country given what the right would consider as prerequisites for citizenship. Though I can be a good liar. Sure I believe in Jesus. Lord & Savior. Yoo betcha. Tithing and Leviticus.

That bullshit was hard to type.

Beefing up the Border Patrol is a good idea too. But that has to happen at the Federal level of course. The Border patrol does its best. Even with the interference of Dumb-ass Entitled Armed Whitey as self-appointed deputy.

Like I said, I can’t wait for the inevitable and successful challenge to this fascist law. You listening non-existent Jesus?

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2 Comments

  1. Yours is a brilliant response to evil.

    Thank you for this!!

  2. Tell it like it is, brother. Your unique voice resounds in my heart of hearts.


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