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Monthly Archives: May 2012

That album was a revelation for me, by the way.

At any rate, this is about a dream I had early this morning. She was simply everything a heart could ever want, and she wanted me unashamedly.

Loved me.

I was about to tell her the things I learned, and show in the process that I was ready to love her as much and as deeply as she did me. We fit like we were machined by watchmakers. Effortless, free, intertwined, one heart, one life.

And then I woke up to an empty bed, an empty heart. She was every woman who loved me, and I let down. Because I didn’t get it.

Now I do of course, and it’s too late. But I do love you all unreservedly and infinitely.

Who are you?
Who were you?
You were a thousand different women.
Every one I have ever loved, ever known.

You were beautiful.
You loved me
Without question,
Without recrimination–
Without me leading you on to my heart
By subterfuge or goading.

You listened. You cared.
You wanted me. You really tried.

How did I lose you,
Who were willing to leap
For the brass ring, heart of gold?

I was blind, I was a fool.
I was distracted by the horizon, lust,
Or the next girl’s door.

You used to come back,
I always had another chance.
But the lesson remained unlearned.

I was too much pain, too much hassle
for too little return.
Too late the hero. Game over.

And at the end there is nothing here
But the dawn over marble head.
Enlightened, free and ready,
But you took to your heels
And headed for the hills.
As you should have
As anyone would.
Love is not to be wasted, after all.

I am sorry it took so long.
I am sorry for holding you,
Guilting you into place.

I just wish I could try one last time
And prove myself worthy. Finally.

I am awake now. I understand.

Too late the hero. The dream is over.