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My grandmother died yesterday. It was a long time coming, she lived a long life, and I am shockingly fortunate to have had a grandparent alive well into my forties.

She was very Catholic. I am not. To say the least. If you know me, you know some of my journey. You may have read some of it here. 

She is gone and I loved her very much. I always will. The following happened yesterday.  

I also love you too very much.


I am really not big
On mystic messages’
Made-up mystique.
Reading a sentence
Into random happenstance.

But this happened.

Two black butterflies
Danced before me
As I walked outside
Right after you died.

This is not
Especially common.
Nor is my memory

These are both true.

But were you
Leaving me
As you left?

Or am I wishing
For the goodbye I’m missing?
Desperately seeking
Farewell with meaning.


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